Texts Between Master and Servant
by blakeBird
Summary: Short series of what Arthur and Merlin's texts would like Big package of friendship and a lot of humor, modern AU. Very safe story, K and up. Hope you enjoy :)


I don't own Merlin, please don't sue me.

Texts between Arthur and Merlin, I hope this isn't too bad :) This is a modern AU if you didn't already assume that

Collaberation with I'mThatAcroBat (Hers is way better than mine)

-BLAH-

M: Arthur

M: Answer my calls

M: I'm stuck I need help

A: Merlin it's four in the morning, you'd better have a reasonable explanation for this

M: I'm stuck in a tree

A: Please explain to me why you're climbing trees in the middle of the night

M: There was a cat...

A: Tell me again why they call you the greatest warlock to ever walk the earth?

\|/\|/

( _Based on true events_ )

A: MERLIN

A: MERLIN COME TO THE FLAT AT ONCE

A: I HAVE AN EMERGENCY

M: What is it? I'm at work

A: A BABY BIRD FELL DOWN THE SEWAGE DRAIN WHILE I WAS TRYING TO SAVE IT

A: HELP ITS GONNA DIE

A: GET OVER HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. AND BRING YOUR MAGIC

ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

M: I just watched the footage from the new security camera I enstalled in my room...

M: Why have you been whispering things to me while I sleep?

A: It's called brainwashing, I have seen it on several films

M: First of all, that is completely fake. Second of all, that is insanely creepy. Third of all, what were you trying to brainwash me for?

A: I was confining you to let me keep that leapord...

M: I have told you a million times why we can't keep wild dangerous animals in the flat

A: But it's so pretty Merlin!

34343434

A: MERLIN

A: THE CEILING IS ANGRY WITH ME

A: I BURNT THE SLICED CRISPED BREAD YOU CALL TOAST

A: THEN THERE WAS SMOKE

A: THE THE MAGIC DETECTOR STARTED SCREAMING AT ME AND WONT STOP

A: PICK UP THE PHONE MERLIN

M: Is anything on fire?

A: NO

M: You'll be fine

A: MERLIN NO COME BACK

xoxoxoxoxo

M: You ate all the oreos

M: I'll be right back. I'm going to the pet store

A: Why? What are you getting?

M: A tarantula

A: NO IM SORRY I WILL PURCHASE MORE OF THE OREO COOKIES

121212121212

( _Based on a true story_ )

M: Arthur

A: Yes?

M: Are you on drugs

A: No. Why would you assume that?

M: *sends picture of white powder in tube*

A: I purchased that at the market yesterday, it's called fake snow

M: Oh. That makes sense I guess. You're too stupid to know where to get drugs anyway

A: What did you call me, dollophead?

M: You heard me. And that's my word, prat

##########

A: Merlin there is a strange creature vibrating in our living quarters. Should I kill it?

M: Leave the cat alone

A: Merlin how do you work the magic well again?

M: It's not magic, it's a sink

A: Of course it's magic. Where else would the water come from

M: The pipes?

A: Blastphemy

(*´∇｀*)

A: I SEE MORGANA ACROSS THE STREET. PREPARE FOR BATTLE

A: I AM GATHERING MY EQUIPMENT

A: VENGENCE WILL BE CLAMED ON THIS DAY

M: ARTHUR NO

M: THATS THE LANDLADY

M: STOP BEFORE YOU GET ARRESTED

A: NO DUNGEON CAN CONTAIN ME

M: DID YOU NOT LEARN YOUR LESSON LAST TIME?

M: Call my phone I can't find it

A: What's in your hand then?

M: Nevermind

%%%%%%

A: What is this thing called cosplay?

M: It's kind of like a costume... why do you ask?

A: I may have worn my battle armour and sword out today. I received lots of attention and citizens wanted my photograph because they thought I was cosplaying as some "holy knight".

A: Then I drew my sword and valiantly told them I was no knight, I was a king

M: You need me to bail you out don't you

A: Yes

5676767676767

A: MERLIN

A: MERLIN HELP

M: What? What is it?

A: I HAVE DISCOVERED ANIME

A: IT HAS MY SOUL

M: *gasp*

(。-∀-)

( _Based on a true story_ )

A: Do you finally remember who wrote that song we were talking about?

M: John...

M: John Farmer?

A: It amazes me how you can remember all the lyrics to the song but you can't seem to remember this one name

M: You're the voice try and understand it...

「「「「「「「「「

M: Hey I forgot to ask why you were limping this morning

A: I was trying to be one of those "ninjas" I saw on TV

M: ...

M: You know what I'm not gonna ask

( _Knights group chat_ )

G: so i was thinking

M: Oh no that can't be good XD

G: if we were from dc comics who we be

Leon: *who would we be.

P: I would be superman. I'm the strongest

M: I call Batman. I am so totally Batman. I'm so secretive and mysterious...

Leon: You know what? Leave me out of this.

A: Lancelot, you shall be Jason Todd. You died remember?

Lance: How is that fair? We all died except for Percy Leon and Merlin

M: Technically I've died more times that all of you combined. I'm immortal remember?

E: But only Lance comes back

Lance: Oh yeah... but I died three times, not once

G: no u dies twice

Leon: died*

Lance: Trust me, it was three times

A: I would like to be Green Lantern, he is the best hero

M: Not true. Batman is

E: Which GL?

A: There is more than one?

Lance: Arthur, its only fitting for you to be Aquaman. You share the same name after all

M: What about you Elyan? I say Cyborg

E: I guess that's alright

A: So I'm not Green Lantern?

P: No, you're Aquaman.

A: I wanted to be Green Lantern...

G: GUYS GUYS I KNOW WHO I AM

M: Who?

G: WONDREWOMAN

Leon: Wonderwoman*

E: You're drunk aren't you?

G: three beers dont coutn as drunkk

Leon: count as drunk*

SSSSSSS

( _Based on a true story)_

M: Arthur

M: I need you

M: Come here it's an emergency

A: What is it? Are you in danger? Do I need Excalibur?

M: There's a roach in the bathtub. Help me get it outside.

A: I'm bringing my sword. Prepare to die, insect

M: NO ARTHUR DONT KILL IT

A: IT HAS INFILTRATED OUR WASHROOM. SOUND THE WARNING BELL

M: ARTHUR NO

LOLOLOLOL

A: Merlin I have seen the film "The Sword In The Stone"

M: I thought I hid that from you...

A: Yes I found it under your bed

A: This film is innacurate. Why are you portrayed as an old man?

M: Don't ask...

4545454545

A: Merlin

A: I drank all of your canned drinks

M: Which ones?

A: The big green ones. I had one and it was so delicious that I had to drink the rest

M: The Monster Energy drinks? How many did you have?

A: Approximatley five

M: I'm picking you up, we're going to the doctor's office right now

[[[[[[[[[[

( _Based on true events_ )

A: Merlin I had a dream that I dyed your cat black with some strange spray ink and then you got angry with me so as a punishment you drew a flying dragon insect on my face.

M: A dragonfly, Arthur

M: ...But who says that was a dream?

A: Why did I wake up in your flat on the couch wrapped tightly in blankets?

M: You came over last night and grabbed the wrong drink

M: The on you kept insisting on freeing all the inflatable pool ducks. I had to swaddle you. You were so drunk you kept calling me mother.

A: That explains a lot

A: Remember that one instance where you fed me rat soup?

A: As payback I have replaced all of the music selection on your mobile cellular device with the 'Kidz Bop' music you hate so much

M: ARTHUR PENDRAGON YOU MADE ME EAT THAT STEW TOO

A: I don't recall that...

AHH LOOK A BREAKLINE :D

M: *sends pictures of tarantulas*

A: MERLIN STOP. THOSE BEASTS ARE TERRIFYING

M: Then admit that you watched four seasons of Supernatural without me

A: ...

M: *sends more pictures*

A: FINE FINE OKAY I DID

M: Anything else you need to fess up to?

A: I was going through your stuff and I found American Girl dolls in the back of your closet

M: If you keep quiet about that you'll never see another tarantula again

A: Deal

LAST BREAKLINE Y'ALL

A: How do you operate this huge metal contraption?

M: Arthur get out of the car

A: But I want to operate the machinery

M: ARTHUR NO

A: I pushed a panel and it is now vibrating

M: ARTHUR PENDRAGON STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW

M: DONT MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

M: ANSWER MY CALLS

M: ARTHUR DONT YOU DARE DRIVE THAT CAR

M: YOU WILL KILL SOMEONE

A: I see how this contraption works. This big box washes the clothing

M: Thank god...

M: You need to stop doing these things to me and get educated about this world.

* * *

-A/N-

OH MY LORDY JESUS this took forever. I had to retype the whole thing so I hope you enjoyed it. Most likely gonna continue, please reveiw! That would be so helpful.

Please check out I'mThatAcroBat's version! It's amazing :)

I really hope you enjoyed, review if you did! ^_^


End file.
